Luna Tuna
by iapetus999
Summary: Princess Luna's feeling lonely and goes to Ponyville incognito. She tries making friends but ponies be crazy yo! This was my entry into the Everfree NW writing competition. My first MLP fic so be gentle!


[Author's note: This was my submission to the Everfree Writing Contest. We had 2 hours to write up to 2000 words and then immediately submit them. It's my first MLP Fic so be gentle. I've edited a few things but this is mostly it.]

Luna Tuna

Luna couldn't stop laughing. Loud, vicious laughs. The ponies assembled in Ponyville trembled as waves of acoustic malaise washed through them.

"I will devour this town and send you all into the darkness! Ahahahaha!"

"Luna."

"Bow! Bow to me, my minions."

"Luna, wake up, you're having a dream!"

Luna sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Celestia?"

The majestic pony knelt next to her sister. "Was it another flashback?"

Luna nodded, and then wrapped her hooves around Celestia's mane. "It was terrible. It was the Bad Times all over again."

"There, there. It's all over. We're together now."

Luna sniffled. "I know, but I'm afraid I might turn bad again."

"You won't." Celestia stroked Luna's mane. "But I _am_ concerned. I think there's something off with you. When's the last time you smiled, or had any fun?"

"I try, but people still remember me from before. No one wants to be my friend."

Celestia stood on all fours and nodded. "I see. I wonder…hmm, yes. I have an idea. What if you could have a fresh start? Let me see."

The Daylight Princess rummaged through a nearby trunk, raising items into the air. "Ah, yes, here it is. The Amulet of Amity." She raised a ruby gem that hung from a silver chain. "With this, plus a badly needed makeover, you'll be able to blend right in. No one will recognize you."

Luna's heart stirred. "Really? Does it work?"

"Of course it does, silly. Now let's conjure a new dress, mane-do, and your hooves are atrocious."

#

Later that day, Luna pranced into Ponyville, completely incognito, in a red shirt and black hooves. A golden-maned pony with a hat collected apples in an orchard.

"Well, there's no time like the present," said Luna. She pranced over to the filly. "Hello, there, stranger. I'm Lu…I'm Lulu."

The pony turned and stared at Luna with a squint. "Good afternoon, ma'am. Say, aren't you—

"Oh, people confuse us all the time," Luna said, praying that the amulet would work. "But I'm not a power-crazed monster."

"Oh, I see. Name's Apple Jack. You look mighty hungry. Care for a bite?" The pony nodded at a cart full of red, ripe apples.

Luna released a breath. "Sure." She took a bite of succulent fruit, reminding of all things summer and warm and nothing like bitter night. "Ooh, this is so good."

"We sure grow them special here."

A flash of pink jumped in front of Luna. "Who's this? Where you from? Did you like the apple? What does that amulet do?"

"Whoa, hold on there," said Apple Jack. "Pinkie Pie, this here's Lulu from…where you from again?"

Luna shied back from the spastic mountain of chartreuse. "Um, uh…"

"Want to play? How old are you? Who's your favorite princess?"

Luna's hooves shook. Pinkie Pie would ruin everything with her questioning.

"Rain bomb!"

Luna looked up only to receive a gallon of water in her face.

"Oops! Sorry!" A flash of color flew by. "Was trying to hit the tree!"

"Rainbow Dash!" shouted Apple Jack. "You get down here and apologize proper!"

Luna looked up at the flying rainbow while her heart raced. People in Ponyville were crazy! Why did she even _want_ to make friends with them?

The filly tumbled a few times and crashed in front of Lulu. "My apologies," she said.

"T-that's okay," said Luna.

"Spider walk!" cried Pinkie Pie, and she and Rainbow Dash locked necks to make a 8-legged, 2-head creature. They proceeded to terrorize the valley with hideous cries.

Luna stared.

"Don't mind them," said Apple Jack.

A white creature with a perfectly coifed mane jumped into the fray. "Emergency! Emergency!"

Luna almost jumped over backwards. "What? What's happening?" The town looked quiet.

"LOOK!"

Luna glanced all around, but saw nothing untoward, nothing except the crazy spider creature chasing a baby dragon.

"My haaaaaiiiiirrrr!"

"Now Rarity—" Apple Jack tried calm the pony.

"It's ruuuuuiineeed."

Luna studied the pony's mane. One tiny hair crept up from the back.

"Now lookie here, I'll fix that right up." Apple Jack licked a hoof and waved it at Rarity.

"You don't touch me, you, you hay-stomping apple picker!"

"What did you call me?" Apple Jack's hoofs waved in the air, fighting style.

"Help me," cried the baby dragon, a victim of the spider-monster.

The world swirled around Luna. She had come here to try to be friends, but these ponies were upside-down-horseshoe-nuts.

"S-sorry about them." A pony sidled up to Luna with a bright pink mane. "A-are you visiting?"

Luna nodded, relieved that one of the ponies seemed to be sane in this town. "Yeah. I'm Lulu."

"I'm Fluttershy. Y-you look a little lost. Would you like to have some tea?"

"Tea?" Luna thought of home, where Celestia conjured up her cranberry-carrot brew with extra honey. "Sure!"

Luna allowed Fluttershy to lead her over to a small alcove in the woods where woodland critters gathered. A rabbit jumped onto Luna's back and nibbled her ears.

"Hey!"

"Oh, don't mind him. He's harmless. Usually. Well, here we are."

Luna's mouth watered, waiting for delicious tea to be brought forth. Fluttershy pantomimed with her hands, laying out empty leaves and shells. "Umm…"

"Oh, my apologies." She handed Luna an empty leaf.

Luna stared at it. Fluttershy raised an invisible kettle and poured in invisible tea.

"Cheers," she said, bringing a leaf to her lips.

Luna's jaw dropped. If the others were crazy, this one was vapid as a cloud of steam.

"Ooh, this is so good, isn't it, boys?"

The critters nodded, drinking the pretend tea.

A rage built inside of Luna. She had commanded the night, brought terror upon the land, ruled the sky for a thousand years. Did she really need friends like this? Wasn't she better than fake-tea-sipping, spider-creating, hair-straightening, apple-pulling ponies? She should command these creatures. They were hers to rule!

"Why's it so cold all of a sudden?" Fluttershy wrapped her hooves around her shoulders. The animals scattered. A wind tore through the clearing, dispersing the tea set.

A rainbow flew by. "Something's happening," cried the dash of blue. "Ain't seen nothing like it before."

Apples tumbled from nearby trees. "Consarn it, those ain't ripe yet," cried Apple Jack.

"My hair, my precious hair!" Rarity rolled on her back to stop the wind, only to get a headful of hay for her trouble.

"Whee! Where's my kite?" Pinkie Pie jumped into the wind.

Luna looked down. Her amulet glowed with power, a black seed of hate growing within. Now was the time, to announce her return, to show all of Equestria that she wasn't a nobody.

Something tugged at her shirt.

"Hey, lady pony," said the little dragon. "Can I try?"

Luna blinked. "What?"

He nodded at the amulet. "Your magic artifact. It looks like fun."

The boy looked up at her with big eyes. Luna sighed. "You want to try my magic amulet? What for?"

He shrugged. "I have an idea." Luna caught just the slightest hint of mischief in his eye. Mischief was good.

"Very well." She bent down and he took it off, placing it on his own neck.

"Oh!" He stared at her.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Good. Carry on."

The wind died, replaced with a low growl. Smoke boiled up into the sky. A huge winged creature's shadow passed across the smoke.

"Dragon," cried Rainbow Dash. "I'll cover everyone! Run!"

They dodged left, they ran right, but the shadow in the sky chased them.

"Come out of the sky and fight proper," yelled Apple Jack.

"Dragon rides," shouted Pinkie Pie. "I want dragon rides!"

Rainbow Dash flew crazily. "I can't find him anywhere!"

Rarity stumbled on some fallen apples and landed upside-down in a cart.

Luna prepared to bolt until she saw the grin on Spike's face. "You," she said. "You recognize the amulet."

"Well, duh," he said. "And I recognize you, Your Highness." He winked. "Well, that's enough fun for today." He placed the amulet back on Luna.

She knelt to him. "Please don't tell them. I just wanted to make friends."

Spike eyed her sideways. "If you want friends, then you better do some fixin."

Luna shook her head. "I don't know how."

"Sure you do. Just look inside your heart."

Spike ran off, chasing the shadow.

So much for being evil. These might be crazy ponies, but the little dragon was right. She didn't come here to destroy, but to build. She placed a hoof on the amulet.

"Rainbow Dash, over there!" The blue pony chased the shadow. "Fluttershy, I need tea, and lots of it. We can defeat the dragon."

"Huh? Okay…"

"Apple Jack, Rarity, gather apples. Quickly."

"With her?" asked Rarity.

"No time to argue. Pinkie Pie, I need…I need you to show me how to make a spider!"

"Spider!"

Luna approached the bouncing figure. They entwined their necks. Luna used the power of the amulet to turn them into a real, 2-headed spider.

"The apples, use the apples," said one head. The spider grabbed the apples and tossed them into the sky, beating back the circling shadow. One hit off Rainbow Dash's nose.

"Now the tea!"

With a flick of her spider hoof, Luna turned the pretend teakettle into a raging steam engine, blowing a plume across the sky.

The smoke scattered and the shadow disappeared.

"Whoo!" went the pink head. "Again!"

Once again, Luna looked upon Ponyville. With the power of the amulet, she could destroy the town and take control. An apple hit her square in the nose.

"Serves you right," said Rainbow Dash, hooves crossed.

"After her," cried Luna, but not in anger. All her rage had disappeared as quickly as the shadow.

The spider deformed down into Luna and Pinkie Pie.

"Aww," said Pinkie. "Let's get her anyways."

Neck-in-neck, they stumbled across the land. From somewhere deep in Luna's chest came a strange sound. Not the harsh peals of evil victory, but the beginnings of true laughter. It burst forth until Luna couldn't hold onto Pinkie and rolled on the ground, holding her belly.

"Well, at least someone had fun today," sniffed Rarity.

Luna jumped to the filly and tousled her hair. "Come on, we'll fix your mane. I think I might just have enough magic left."

Before Luna left, she made sure Rarity's mane was perfect, Fluttershy's botanical tea set made real tea, and Apple Jack's orchard was at the peak of ripeness.

As she cantered back to the palace, a small dragon caught up.

"Nice," he said. "Don't be such a stranger. We need more princess ponies like you around here. And bring more toys!"

"Okay. Thanks."

Back at the palace, Luna handed the amulet back to Celestia. "That really works. Thanks."

Celestia glanced at the jewel. "Huh?"

"You know, dragons, spiders, it's really a lot of fun. I can't wait to borrow it again!"

Celestia stared at her sister and stowed the jewel away. "But, this isn't the real amulet, it's just a piece of costume jewelry. It's not magic. I just said that to boost your confidence. The real one is locked away."

"It's…not…"

"No, silly. Why, did something happen?."

There was power, and magic, from somehere. And if it wasn't from the amulet, Luna wondered where in Equestria did it spring from…


End file.
